How it all started:
It is weird how a woman's biological clock works. I never understood how overwhelming the desire to procreate could be until one day I just woke up and tick-tock, I WANT, NEED, MUST HAVE a baby. I'm not so sure it works the same way for men. Although Adam did not need much convincing, if I wouldn't have had the urge to start a family anytime soon, he could have easily waited until his 40's to decide he was ready!
Once I heard the clock tick, the thought of starting a family completely took over my life. Before we even decided it was time to start trying, I made a doctor's appointment to make sure my pre-conception health was good and that the vitamins I was taking were the best. In an effort to get more healthy, I went to the gym more often and lost the weight I had put on during our first year of marriage. I started buying organic produce and meats. I joined websites like BabyCenter.com and Whattoexpect.com and got on message boards with other mothers who were TCC (trying to conceive). I started tracking my ovulation cycles. Adam and I even drove up to New York for free testing for Jewish genetic diseases.
We had 4 month span of time that would be ideal for me to have a baby. Because I work in the school system, and do not yet have tenure, I really wanted to have the baby and take maternity leave anytime other than the first three months of the school year. I convinced him that our first Anniversary (April 14) would be a great time to officially start the "family plan." We are apparently very blessed, as I discovered just two weeks later, on my 28th birthday (April 27th) that I was preggers!
Skip to Now:
I can hardly believe that in a mere six weeks (give or take a few) I'll be a mother. I must admit that I am flooded with emotions. This baby was planned and is very wanted. Of course I am excited about its pending arrival, but mostly I'm scared and anxious about how I'm going to adjust to motherhood.
I'm a planner. I envy my husband who has always been a "go with the flow" type of person. I know that things are going to change drastically with the little one's arrival.
I'm scared of this unknown. Will I be a good mother? Will I enjoy being a mom? Will I fall "in-love" the second I lay eyes on my child? I guess it's something I won't know until the baby's arrival.....ugh, I hate not knowing!
I have had friends say that parenthood is the hardest, yet the most rewarding job they have ever had. As hard as parenthood seems (and is I'm sure), they all appear to find such joy in it. Even though I have many, many fears, I still get a smile on my face when I think about how I am going to love experiencing all the little quirky things this new addition to our lives is going to bring. With the help of this blog, I hope to share them with you along the way!
